4 lessons of decision making
I also have made some very wise choices. I have accomplished many of my greatest personal goals. I have worked very hard and have moments that I couldn't be more proud of.
What both of these paragraphs have in common: me. That sounds stupid, but it's true. I made those decisions. Most importantly, I was doing my best. Whether I crashed and burned or took flight and soared, I was doing my best to make the best choice for me. I know that I have made mistakes in the past, but I choose to not let that affect my confidence in myself in making decisions now. I used to really stress about what others thought of my decisions, but as time went on and I started studying human beings and their relationships as a part of my major I recognized some interesting things:
1. I will not be able to please everyone
2. I can ask for, listen to, and respect others' advice without having to heed it
3. I have puzzle pieces to my life's puzzle and a perspective that no one else has
4. I know my Heavenly Father will help me find the best path for me
I will not be able to please everyone- I can't. As simple as that sounds, I cannot afford to spend any time stressing about making everyone in my life happy with my decisions. Elder Holland said once: "'Even in the golden age of civilization someone undoubtedly grumbled that everything looked too yellow.'" This reminds me that even when everything is great there will always be the one naysayer, and I now recognize that. That thought has made me come to the following decision: there are two people who's opinions I care about-the first is my Heavenly Father, and the second is me. If He and I are both satisfied, then no other opinion in the world matters.
I can ask for, listen to, and respect others' advice without having to apply it- I am one of those people who likes to get a lot of perspectives on situations I am unsure on. I will ask around, gather a lot of ideas, and then sit down and see which way I feel best inclined to go. This is never an insult to those in my life who's opinion I ask and don't follow, merely a tool I use to aid my decision making process. I know when I give advice that it can be either used or thrown away, and it doesn't hurt me as I know of many times when I have done the same. As the movie 'Best Two Years' says: "Advice is free. About what it's worth too." This leads in perfectly to my next point.
I have puzzle pieces to my life's puzzle that bring a perspective that no one else has- When others in my life offer advice, it is from their perspective, it is much like a news reporter asks for a statement from witnesses to an event- a bystander offers to share what they see from their vantage point of a car accident for example, and you will get several opinions on what occurred. A pedestrian from the sidewalk might say that the driver who rear ended another car was at fault because they made no attempt to slow down before the red light. If the police merely went from that one view, the poor driver would be cited, charged, and blamed for the accident. Upon interviewing the driver however, police may learn and later confirm that the brakes in her car had suddenly gone out, and she couldn't have prevented the accident. While the pedestrian offered a good angle, the most accurate one usually comes from (and I say usually because there can be other factors at play here as well) the one who knows the most about what is happening, or in this case: the driver. A pedestrian on the sidelines will never know as much about the situation as the driver.
I know my Heavenly Father will help me find the best path for me- The biggest lesson I have learned this year has been that Christ's way is always the right way. As I have been learning that, my testimony of prayer has been strengthened as I learn that I can tell my Heavenly Father about everything, and receive counsel from Him. Elder Bednar puts it beautifully when he says this: "We are commanded to pray always to the Father in the name of the Son (see 3 Nephi 18:19–20). We are promised that if we pray sincerely for that which is right and good and in accordance with God’s will, we can be blessed, protected, and directed...
"Prayer becomes meaningful as we remember our relationship to Deity and heed the admonition to:
“Cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.
“Counsel with the Lord in all
thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down
at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your
sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of
thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the
last day” (Alma 37:36–37; emphasis added)."
I have confidence in myself enough to trust the decisions I make for myself. No matter what else happens, or who doesn't believe in me, or what comes my way, I know that I can make it with my Father's help.
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