Are you disagreeing, or just being disagreeable?
Friday was a very controversial and life-changing day for a lot of Americans. While I am not the first (and most assuredly not the last) to post on the Supreme Court ruling, I would like to offer a few thoughts on the situation. First, let me explain my thoughts and actions since hearing of the Supreme Court's decision: I am against gay marriage, and when I heard the ruling you can imagine my feelings on the subject. Suffice to say I was frustrated, and started reading many articles, blog posts, and news stories on the ramifications of this event, many of which I shared so that those who believe as I do could see what was coming, or understand as I now do how this can alter marriage, adoption, religious freedoms, and society in general both now and in the future. I have studied (and almost have a Bachelor's degree in) Marriage and Family Studies. This is not only a moral debate, but career-altering information for me.
I was definitely undergoing some heated scrutiny for doing so. Several friends and even family members made it clear that they didn't appreciate what I shared on my Facebook page (and seriously, what's new? If only I enjoyed every single thing I saw everyone post on social media haha First world problems I guess) and I lost some of them as friends as a result, but not before some very harsh communications. In the name of "love" I was called names. I was attacked. I was cyber-bullied. Scathing language was used. The excuse given? I was refusing to give others "equality". "Love is love" I was told. At no point had I called names, incited a riot, or used that horrid B-word that is so flippantly and ignorantly used nowadays (bigot for those of you whose minds are going a different direction), and yet I was definitely experiencing that first hand.
Now here we get to the reason for this post:
There is a fine line between disagreeing, and being disagreeable. Heaven knows we have all struggled to find that gray line, myself included. Neither side of this debate is guiltless. Emotions are powerful, and can flood the system and overpower logic if we let them. You might stand up, demand to be heard, pound your chest, exclaim your beliefs, attempt to drown out those who oppose, and then pat yourself on the back for "standing up for your beliefs", but what have you accomplished? Your tantrum is through, but you have succeeded in nothing but hearing yourself scream over another person, and possibly do some incredibly devastating damage to them in the process. Is your opinion more important than another person's feelings?
This great country was built with the idea that those who came over from Britain could decide for themselves what they would and would not believe. They fought long and hard for the chance to choose their own church, select their own government leaders, express their own beliefs, and live their own lives! Why is it, all this time later, that we have decided to ignore that? What gives us the right to overthrow those ideals by cramming our thoughts down one another's throats, or by attacking them for thinking differently? Must we have this same battle in this country again?
This ruling is a great learning opportunity for Americans to be reminded of a great skill and their heritage: to learn to disagree with kindness. Stand up for what you believe! Attend rallies, sign petitions, appeal to judges, discuss religious doctrine, but do it respectfully. You are entitled to your opinion, and to share it, but not to bully. Those who disagree with you are entitled to the same.
Please, let us all seek for ways to disagree agreeably, to find the common ground we share instead of the portion we do not, and to find ways to love all those around us.
I was definitely undergoing some heated scrutiny for doing so. Several friends and even family members made it clear that they didn't appreciate what I shared on my Facebook page (and seriously, what's new? If only I enjoyed every single thing I saw everyone post on social media haha First world problems I guess) and I lost some of them as friends as a result, but not before some very harsh communications. In the name of "love" I was called names. I was attacked. I was cyber-bullied. Scathing language was used. The excuse given? I was refusing to give others "equality". "Love is love" I was told. At no point had I called names, incited a riot, or used that horrid B-word that is so flippantly and ignorantly used nowadays (bigot for those of you whose minds are going a different direction), and yet I was definitely experiencing that first hand.
There is a fine line between disagreeing, and being disagreeable. Heaven knows we have all struggled to find that gray line, myself included. Neither side of this debate is guiltless. Emotions are powerful, and can flood the system and overpower logic if we let them. You might stand up, demand to be heard, pound your chest, exclaim your beliefs, attempt to drown out those who oppose, and then pat yourself on the back for "standing up for your beliefs", but what have you accomplished? Your tantrum is through, but you have succeeded in nothing but hearing yourself scream over another person, and possibly do some incredibly devastating damage to them in the process. Is your opinion more important than another person's feelings?
This great country was built with the idea that those who came over from Britain could decide for themselves what they would and would not believe. They fought long and hard for the chance to choose their own church, select their own government leaders, express their own beliefs, and live their own lives! Why is it, all this time later, that we have decided to ignore that? What gives us the right to overthrow those ideals by cramming our thoughts down one another's throats, or by attacking them for thinking differently? Must we have this same battle in this country again?
This ruling is a great learning opportunity for Americans to be reminded of a great skill and their heritage: to learn to disagree with kindness. Stand up for what you believe! Attend rallies, sign petitions, appeal to judges, discuss religious doctrine, but do it respectfully. You are entitled to your opinion, and to share it, but not to bully. Those who disagree with you are entitled to the same.
Please, let us all seek for ways to disagree agreeably, to find the common ground we share instead of the portion we do not, and to find ways to love all those around us.
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