Pass or Fail
I knew from the day I started my clinicals that this was the job for me. I had studied and practiced skills for months, but the day I donned those scrubs and entered that first facility was the day I knew I had found a job doing something I love. After I finished my clinicals and had been bitten by the bug, all I had to do was pass the state tests: one is written and the other is a skills test performed in front of an instructor. The written test went well, I passed with flying colors, and was on to my skills test. This exam includes a test of your ability to take vitals and finishes with a simulation picked from a stack at random with you doing certain cares for a dummy in a bed.
I was scared to death doing those vitals. You are sitting next to a woman who has worked in the medical field for years, and you have done your list of 30 required vitals sets, and maybe a few more for practice. She has a two headed stethoscope and hands it to you and tells you to get started. On blood pressure you had to be within 4 of your tester or you failed, no questions asked. I did it and didn't know how well I'd done. I remember how hard it was for me to find a pulse on the other girl testing with me. You leave with no assurance of your passing, and you receive a letter in the mail indicating your score.
I failed the first time. I still remember where I was standing when I got that letter, and I definitely haven't forgotten how it felt. I cried and cried that day, and it took me months, 4-5 if I remember right, to work up the courage to try again. I spent a lot of time studying, practicing, and praying. I remember pleading for help, and the big day arrived. I went back in, and started my test. This time the vitals part went well, but my simulation that I drew had me stumped. I was supposed to put my patient in a certain position in bed, and my mind blanked. I panicked. My instructor wasn't watching me, she was quizzing the girl testing with me, so I just closed my eyes and said a silent prayer.
I have never had this happen again since, but I remember it like it was yesterday: in my mind's eye instantly the picture of the book came into my head, the page with all the pictures and descriptions of bed positions, and then it slowly zoomed in until I could only see the one position I needed, the picture in my head as clear as I saw that dummy in front of me. I knew without a doubt my Heavenly Father was helping me, and I promptly turned the dummy into that position as my tester turned around, smiled, and wrote something on her paper.
The miracle of that day was such a lesson for me. Two miracles occurred in this story. One was the test, the other was my failing. You might think I'm crazy right about now, but it's true. They changed the age CNAs had to be to work in the field right as I finished my class. They did this so background checks could be run on aides, so the age limit was raised to 18. I was 16 at the time. Had I not failed my test and waited those months to retest, the two year period for me to get my hours in (and thereby not have to retake the class or the state tests) would have passed, and I would have had to have retested with still no work experience and two years without practice.
At the time did I think it was a big miracle? No. Was I frustrated and wondering why it happened to me? Yes. But thankfully I have a Father in Heaven who doesn't give me what I ask for. He knew more than I did, and I'm so glad He allowed me that learning opportunity, and gave me the chance to appreciate the opportunity I have to do what I love all at the same time. He also let me know that He hadn't forgotten me. He hadn't abandoned me; He was aware of the struggle it was for me, and let me know that He was there to help. I know without a doubt that He helped me that day, and continues to help me when I fail at other things. :)
I was scared to death doing those vitals. You are sitting next to a woman who has worked in the medical field for years, and you have done your list of 30 required vitals sets, and maybe a few more for practice. She has a two headed stethoscope and hands it to you and tells you to get started. On blood pressure you had to be within 4 of your tester or you failed, no questions asked. I did it and didn't know how well I'd done. I remember how hard it was for me to find a pulse on the other girl testing with me. You leave with no assurance of your passing, and you receive a letter in the mail indicating your score.
I failed the first time. I still remember where I was standing when I got that letter, and I definitely haven't forgotten how it felt. I cried and cried that day, and it took me months, 4-5 if I remember right, to work up the courage to try again. I spent a lot of time studying, practicing, and praying. I remember pleading for help, and the big day arrived. I went back in, and started my test. This time the vitals part went well, but my simulation that I drew had me stumped. I was supposed to put my patient in a certain position in bed, and my mind blanked. I panicked. My instructor wasn't watching me, she was quizzing the girl testing with me, so I just closed my eyes and said a silent prayer.
I have never had this happen again since, but I remember it like it was yesterday: in my mind's eye instantly the picture of the book came into my head, the page with all the pictures and descriptions of bed positions, and then it slowly zoomed in until I could only see the one position I needed, the picture in my head as clear as I saw that dummy in front of me. I knew without a doubt my Heavenly Father was helping me, and I promptly turned the dummy into that position as my tester turned around, smiled, and wrote something on her paper.
The miracle of that day was such a lesson for me. Two miracles occurred in this story. One was the test, the other was my failing. You might think I'm crazy right about now, but it's true. They changed the age CNAs had to be to work in the field right as I finished my class. They did this so background checks could be run on aides, so the age limit was raised to 18. I was 16 at the time. Had I not failed my test and waited those months to retest, the two year period for me to get my hours in (and thereby not have to retake the class or the state tests) would have passed, and I would have had to have retested with still no work experience and two years without practice.
At the time did I think it was a big miracle? No. Was I frustrated and wondering why it happened to me? Yes. But thankfully I have a Father in Heaven who doesn't give me what I ask for. He knew more than I did, and I'm so glad He allowed me that learning opportunity, and gave me the chance to appreciate the opportunity I have to do what I love all at the same time. He also let me know that He hadn't forgotten me. He hadn't abandoned me; He was aware of the struggle it was for me, and let me know that He was there to help. I know without a doubt that He helped me that day, and continues to help me when I fail at other things. :)
One thing I love about this story? Heavenly Father helped you remember the page in your textbook to help you pass. If you hadn't done the work to study and read from your book, He would have never been able to help you in that way. Isn't it great how when we do all we can do, our Heavenly Father steps in and helps with the rest? This was a great post and I'm so glad it all worked out for you! You'll make a great nurse!
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