Dimple's Discoveries

        Four years ago I went on my first emergency call with police to a domestic violence scene. One call was all it took, and I knew I was made for advocacy. At 18 years old I had already seen my first case of domestic violence at my job in a geriatric center where I literally jumped between the victim and her abuser (do not try this at home!), and knew deep in my soul that I could do this for the rest of my life. I have seen some of the darkest horrors human beings can inflict on each other. I have cried with victims as they've shared their stories from hell and fought PTSD as a result. I've held clients as they shake after a night terror or assessed injuries to determine medical care. For years I've mediated conflicts, counseled endlessly, and encouraged and empowered women to rise from the ashes. Looking back makes me wish that the 24 year old woman I am could write a letter to the 18 year old girl I was, so here are the five lessons I've learned as an advocate...

I have been volunteering at a local shelter for victims of domestic violence, doing some slightly different work than I have ever done before. One of my new tasks is to admit victims into the shelter by determining eligibility, and then assisting them in "checking in" by finding out more about their situation and helping them settle in for that first day or night at the shelter.This is by far my favorite part of my responsibilities, because I can't wait to sit across from them as they tell their story, and tell them how proud I am of their courage to leave. Several have spoken of pretending to go to the grocery store, picking up their children and their purse and coming straight to the shelter. It has moved me more than I can say, but I would love to share a realization I had a couple of weeks ago while checking in a resident. This resident came in with her young child, and was attempting to cuddle the sleeping toddler around her very pregnant stomach as she quietly ...

I have been afraid countless times. Unfortunately being afraid is not an emotion I lack. It's not uncommon for me to be on high alert as I walk in a dark alley, as I am home alone and hear a loud noise, or even when someone touches me unexpectedly. However, these momentary times when your heartbeat stops for a second are not the ones I am referring to. Tonight I will tell you about the time I felt true fear. We've all heard of it, and some, I'm sure, have already experienced it's cold and rough grip: The mind-stopping, heart racing, time-slowing fear that flows like ice through our veins and freezes us where we stand. This fear that can so quickly penetrate every cell of our bodies and souls can be paralyzing; a lesson I was soon to learn. I work in dangerous situations all the time with my line of work, both at the county jail and as an advocate. Perhaps I had become accustomed to the thought, or was incredibly naive about my work... either way I was not emotion...

 Outlier: a mathematical term for something or someone varying from the norm. I believe that outliers are what we notice or are affected by the most in our lives. Especially once you have worked in a particular job or field for an extended period of time, even traumatic events can start to be the baseline, and you go about your job until an outlier blindsides you. For me, domestic violence calls have become my baseline, and I forget the average Joe on the street doesn't openly discuss people being thrown, punched, or attacked without batting an eye. The calls that I remember with the most clarity are the extremely violent, the young, the old, and the most heartbreaking. This call was an outlier.  The call from dispatch sent us flying to the Emergency Room, where we waited for the ambulance to arrive, and then waited almost an hour for her to be evaluated, treated and have documentation of her injuries.    We finally got the call to go back, and I knew it was ...

When I was in Junior High I knew an amazing girl who was struggling with a lot on her plate. These struggles went far beyond boy trouble or puberty complaints. Even after all these years I remember the courage and strength she exhibited in surviving all that she did. We separated for a time, and we have recently started talking again. After seeing her story unfold from my perspective I wanted to know what it was like from hers. I have asked her to share her story, in the hopes that one day, someone, somewhere can be bettered by what she endured. This is her story, in her own words: "To say I understood how it all happened or why things turned out the way they did would be a lie. I don’t know how or why anything happened the way that it did. At 15 life seemed like it was at its all-time low. Things at my home were not ideal, years of verbal abuse finally pushed me to my breaking point. I was lonely and wading through pools of pain and darkness. Being a 15 year old I didn’t know h...

My partner and I pull into a trailer park, spot the police cars and park near them, and notice the neighbors gathered outside talking quietly in circles, giving us wary looks. I don my 'Family Crisis Center' badge, grab my binder and we head to the trailer, as red and blue lights revolve intermittently on the outside walls of the trailer and on us. We knock and are let in by a police officer who proceeds to brief us on the situation: the husband started a verbal fight, and escalated to slamming his wife’s head into the fridge by holding a fistful of her hair, choking her son when he tried to intervene, and by threatening to kill her when he called from the jail asking for bail money. I sit on a dirty recliner listening to this woman cry out her frustration, her fears, and her despair. Her children sit nearby, quietly supporting her and occasionally rubbing her arm in an effort to console the inconsolable. Had her daughter not called the police, who called us, we might neve...

I have moved back to school, and am currently working as a Victim's Advocate at a Crisis Center, and yesterday I was privileged to be able to have a few hours to go serve there. I was helping to decorate some windows, and then my boss called me over and handed me a stack of files and asked me to do follow-ups. Follow ups with clients means that you go through their file, read all the history, incident reports, protection orders, etc. and then call the victim and ask how things are going, and then offer the services that they might need from us (ie: diapers, food, counseling, court advocacy, etc). I sat down and started reading. Some files had just one report, others had inches of reports from years past til now. Some were young, some were old, some were married for years, some had been dating a couple weeks. Some successfully left, some have since returned to the predator. Some had several children, some had none. All of these women were very different in many ways, but they ha...

Today's post is a long time coming, I've been up to a lot lately, namely campaigning for Mitt Romney and starting a new class, along with a few hard core anatomy exams. Today's post is also going to be very different from what I usually post about. Today's post is going to be about my class I started this week. In order to get into the nursing program I need to have a lot of service on my resume. Ironically, for a year now I have been trying to get into a volunteer position at the community crisis center as a victim advocate. This is wonderful because I can serve doing something I have been wanting to do for ages, and use it as a step into something else I love as well. Last night I attended and am enrolled through Dec. 11th. I will be working as a sort of counselor for domestic violence, rape, and sexual assault victims, working with local law enforcement as I arrive on scene to talk to and try to guide these victims and help them. I will even be meeting up with some...

Every aide has had scary moments on the job where they were in danger. I had never imagined when I first started my CNA course that I would ever be put in any dangerous situations. I thought it would all be very predictable and boring work. I was wrong. The first time I ever even knew we could be in danger was a patient who was 6'2'' if memory serves me right, his wife had recently died, and he was determined to die. He had quit eating and drinking as well as taking his medication, and would just lay in bed all day and night. He was refusing to shower or go to the bathroom, and changing him was a nightmare. I came into work one day with a note in the book to see the med tech before I hit the floor. I soon learned that one of our older aides had gone in his room to help him into the shower, and he was livid. She wasn't backing down and he got up, knocked her backwards where she hit the wall, grabbed an oxygen tank above his head and went after her. By a miracle our tra...

As CNAs, we give up a lot of things for the people we serve. Our job is physically and emotionally taxing, and not many people see how much it is. In a given eight hour shift, this is a typical schedule: 2pm-Receive report on how the day has gone, any falls that have occurred, etc. 2:30pm-Start vitals on your team (group of patients), as well as answer any call lights, Q2 checks (changing briefs of patients who are incontinent or rotating position of patients who have bed sores, etc.), and handling any emergencies that could arise 5pm ish- Dinner (you are taking note of how much patients eat and recording it for your charting later) 6pm-start rotating breaks for staff members while maintaining sanity on the floor 8pm-snack time. Your showers should be done or getting done by this point, help tag team any patient who is an Extensive 2 or more lift (meaning they cannot be transferred or done without at least two aides) 9pm-Your I&Os need to get to the nurse, (measuring h...

Every different career choice has the employees working with each other on a varying level. Some jobs have employees helping each other with work, others barely interact or know each others names. In health care your coworkers, like it or not, are your new family. You have to depend on them completely to help you, because there is no way you could do it all on your own. I have been blessed to have some of the most amazing coworkers at both of my jobs. They really have become my adopted family: We've laughed and cried together, gone to parties together, motivated each other, cared for and lost beloved patients together, and protected and taken care of each other in dangerous or uncomfortable moments. My coworkers are able to bond with me in a way that no one else can, in that they can understand exactly how it feels to be a CNA. They understand how I ache when one of my patients falls and dies of a result, how my body hurts once I finish a shift of helping others, or how I fee...

I work in an assisted living center and a rehab for post op.I have lost dozens of patients. The ones that I was close to I write their name in my copy of 'The Locket' by Richard Paul Evans. I hate pulling that book down from the shelf to write another name in it, but it helps me remember them each in turn and the fun memories we have had. It isn't uncommon for me to turn to the obituaries and see a name of a patient I have cared for. Losing a patient is a very heart-wrenching event. Since I have been away at school, I had forgotten how it felt to lose a patient, how sharp the sting actually is. I had a patient at one of my jobs that was dying of cancer: two different kinds actually, and her chances aren't good. This is the third time she has been diagnosed with cancer in her lifetime. When she first arrived at the facility I was very intimidated by her. She is a no-nonsense, direct, commanding woman, and she isn't afraid to say what she thinks. I had been her aide...