Dimple's Discoveries

I was at work today when I received an email that broke my heart, and I wept as I read the words "(Patient's name) passed away Wednesday from congestive heart failure.   We did not even know she had it and she went fast and peaceful.   I wanted you to know that she thought the world of you and you made her time in the facility so much better.   Thank you . " This particular patient held such a special place in my heart. I had referred to her in a previous post ' Satisfaction in a Job Well Done'  and ever since she left our facility she and I have stayed in contact, emailing back and forth as we ask each other about work, school, life, etc. Every email from her kept the joyful memories flooding back into my heart time and time again, as I remembered each time I was able to care for her, find ways to make her comfortable, or even when she taught me a special lifting technique to move her easier. I still cannot comprehend how kind, patient and happy...

I start a new rigorous work schedule this month: 7 days a week. Every week. Four days off this month. Can anyone say burnout? But I love what I'm doing :) It's worth it to keep the time flying by (and it keeps me from having to socialize like a normal human being too, which is always a bonus!) But I've been really tired lately, going to work has been a bit harder recently. I had lost sight of why I do what I do, but Heavenly Father always seems to find little ways to remind me, as He did this week. I was med tech for a Sunday graveyard, and I was tired. When I arrived I was told that one of our patients had refused food and water all day, and just been sleeping. Her time was coming. The patients always seem to know, and the decline usually happens rapidly. She wasn't expected to last more than a day or two, if she survived the night. The problem was that since her decline had happened so rapidly, we had no E-kit for her, (a kit of liquid Lorazepam and Morphine to...

As caregivers, we tend to be loving people. This means that we frequently get hurt. You'll find that caregivers across the board will have the biggest hearts of anyone you could ever meet. Who else could care for patients who can be crude, harsh, cruel, and even abusive for hours on hours without mirroring the same? The weakness of the caregiver is that they feel too much, care for too many, they give of themselves to so many people that they are often getting hurt by those they care for. Why is that big of a heart a problem? Well, patients die. People change. Friends walk away. It's all a part of life. Caregivers have a hard time letting go, even when it is time. I was sent a forwarded email one time that this reminds me of, it's called "A reason, a season, a lifetime". It talks about how we are sent others in our life for a reason, such as to help us through a problem, a season, to guide us through a season or period of change, and finally, once or twice a lif...

Death is a curious thing. Some fear it, some long for it, some temporarily defy it, but no one can escape it. In working for over two years now as a CNA, I have seen at least a hundred deaths, each affecting me in a different way. Watching patients pass away brings the beliefs and understanding of the afterlife of the aide to the surface very quickly. It is a test of faith. I've watched aides respond in all different ways to death, from crying, to refusing to enter the room, to a quiet acceptance of an inevitable part of life. This week taught me about myself as death approached our facility. This patient had been miserable, she was on hospice and expected to die soon, and had reasoned to herself that we (the nursing staff) were keeping her alive through our efforts, so soon all our services were being refused. Showers skipped, toileting ignored, meals sent back, and pleas that we help end her life were an hourly occurance. She was begging every staff member that en...

I have seen miracles happen at work, some so special and sacred to me that I rarely share them but think of them often. This week I saw a miracle occur in the life of one of my patients. The patient who's story I shared a few weeks back when I was bedbathing her has had a miracle in her life that I have to tell you about. She is battling two kinds of cancer currently, and was on her way home from chemo when she got in a car accident that had her bedridden and barely able to speak two words together. She touched a special place in my heart, because she is staying in the same room that was previously occupied by another cancer patient who recently passed away who I loved dearly, so it is hard for me to watch this patient deteriorate in a similar way. One night as I was taking care of her and was emptying her catheter I saw that the tubing was red. Not only was it red with blood, but there were blood clots about a foot long, about five of them in it. I panicked. I went quickly f...

Every different career choice has the employees working with each other on a varying level. Some jobs have employees helping each other with work, others barely interact or know each others names. In health care your coworkers, like it or not, are your new family. You have to depend on them completely to help you, because there is no way you could do it all on your own. I have been blessed to have some of the most amazing coworkers at both of my jobs. They really have become my adopted family: We've laughed and cried together, gone to parties together, motivated each other, cared for and lost beloved patients together, and protected and taken care of each other in dangerous or uncomfortable moments. My coworkers are able to bond with me in a way that no one else can, in that they can understand exactly how it feels to be a CNA. They understand how I ache when one of my patients falls and dies of a result, how my body hurts once I finish a shift of helping others, or how I fee...

I work in an assisted living center and a rehab for post op.I have lost dozens of patients. The ones that I was close to I write their name in my copy of 'The Locket' by Richard Paul Evans. I hate pulling that book down from the shelf to write another name in it, but it helps me remember them each in turn and the fun memories we have had. It isn't uncommon for me to turn to the obituaries and see a name of a patient I have cared for. Losing a patient is a very heart-wrenching event. Since I have been away at school, I had forgotten how it felt to lose a patient, how sharp the sting actually is. I had a patient at one of my jobs that was dying of cancer: two different kinds actually, and her chances aren't good. This is the third time she has been diagnosed with cancer in her lifetime. When she first arrived at the facility I was very intimidated by her. She is a no-nonsense, direct, commanding woman, and she isn't afraid to say what she thinks. I had been her aide...

Patients often ask in frustration why they are still alive, why they have to suffer through this illness or injury, and I have heard caretakers time and time again struggle with the answer to that question. I don’t have all the answers, but I certainly know one: because sometimes a trial isn’t what you need to learn, as much as what others around you can learn from you. That was how it was with a special patient of mine. This patient had lost her husband a few years prior. She talked about him literally every day, many times a day, and was pretty much in her own world. The trouble with being a caretaker is that you get to glimpse bits and pieces of the patient’s life, but you don’t get the full story. Much like flipping open a random book near the end and reading a few pages but never being able to see how the story began or progressed, we get a little glance and can only wonder at what they experienced, what trials they endured, or what made them what they are today. This sweet pa...